


Somewhere

by TheAbby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Cancer, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dan Howell Has Cancer, End of life thoughts, M/M, One Shot, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, phanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:04:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAbby/pseuds/TheAbby
Summary: “I like to think that somewhere out there in some alternate reality I got to do all those things."





	Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfiction. I've been reading Phanfiction for a while now and I wanted to try writing some. I'm not very good, but I tried my best to turn my ideas into this short one shot . It's not amazing but I hope you enjoy it! I would love it if you could tell me what you think. I have no idea what I'm doing so any advice or tips would be super helpful.

Phil Lester loved youtube. Almost as much as Dan Howell. Without youtube the two probably would have never become friends. When they were 11 years old they both loved they same youtuber. On Phils first day in 5th grade at a whole new school he wore a t-shirt boasting the vlogger. Dan saw it and they had become instant friends. As the two grew up they grew closer and closer together. They were inseparable. They even slowly fell in love. Their interests changed over the years but neither ever lost their love for what brought them together. Dan's dream was to one day become a big youtuber. Phil always encouraged him to make a channel and start uploading, but Dan had never built up enough confidence to do so. Even then life was good and Dan and Phil loved each other more than words could express. One day when Dan and Phil were both 18 everything changed.

Phil sat next to Dan as he slept quietly in a hospital bed. Cancer had taken a toll on Dan. Phil wasn't sure how much longer Dan was going to make it. He tried not to let the truth sink in. It wasn’t as bad as they said it was, It wasn't as bad as it looked. Dan was going to recover and they were going to get married and live the life they had always dreamed of. The truth still loomed over Phil. Dan would be lucky to make it another week. 

In a burst of sudden moment Dan opened his eyes for the first time in many hours. Phil leaned over and kissed the small boy on the forehead. Before Phil had the chance to say anything about Dan waking up Dan broke the calm silence with a soft, sad voice.  
“I don't want to die.”  
Phil was on the verge of tears. With a shaky voice he replied the only thing he felt he could even say.  
“You're not going to die Dan”  
“I'm not stupid Lester” Dan replied coldly. Though the small burst of anger melted away as Dan looked into Phil's beautiful eyes, leaving behind only sadness.  
“There were so many things I wanted to do. So many dreams that will never come to life” Dan said quietly the sadness still in his voice. “I'll never see the world, I’ll never learn to play the piano well, I'll never become a famous youtuber, I'll never marry you.” tears were now glistening in Dan's eyes.  
“I wasn't really lying to you about dying, I was lying to myself. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For you I'll be honest. You may never be able to marry me Dan and I may not be able to live out the rest of my life with you, but you have me now. And I will not leave until it's over.” Phil could barely say anything more. His voice was cracking and tears were now streaming down in his face. For a few minutes the two boys just stared at the white hospital ceiling. After composing himself a bit more Dan once again broke the silence.  
“I like to think that somewhere out there in some alternate reality I got to do all those things. We spend our long lives together, travel the world and become big youtubers. Dan and Phil youtubers and lovers. We could be some of the early youtubers. Meet all creators instead of fans. We could go to vidcon and meet our millions of fans and other creators and talk on stage to a ton of people. We could write a book like some youtubers do. Maybe even two. We could travel the world on tour. We could collab with people. We could have the time of our lives making videos. Phil and Dan, Dan and Phil.  
“If anything can happen in this universe I get to be older than you.” Phil said with a small laugh  
“You spork” Dan replied jokingly “We're 18 and I'm dying is now really the time to bring up how I'm 6 months older than you?”  
“I'll forever be bitter if you keep rubbing it into every conversation. We're not in 5th grade anymore and I deserve to be at least 4 years older than you” Phil added in the same joking manner. They both laughed a bit. Phil held onto Dan's words. Somewhere that laugh could last forever.  
“I hope you go to that universe” Phil said tears back again. “I love you Dan”  
“I love you too” Dan whispered weakly. Phil leaned down and kissed a fragile brunette on his soft lips. Dan smiled then fell back asleep. Phil knew that he would probably not wake up again.


End file.
